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On September 14th of this year, I'll find myself in a hospital in Ithaca, New York, where I was born forty years before. Thus begins a journey to seek out conversations with my younger self. I will travel the road my family traveled and visit the homes in which I lived and places and people I knew before.

Having moved about 9 times before I was in the 6th grade, living in both the US and abroad, and having a birthday that fell mere days after the start of each new school year, the challenges of childhood were many and varied. My birthday parties consisted either of small, intimate events with family, or strange gatherings of rapidly gathered "friends" from each new locale. I never learned to put down roots and make long term friends - it was easier to give them up if I didn't allow myself the attachments. Add to this, the growing adult understanding of having withstood childhood sexual abuse, possibly at the hands of neighbors or family friends, and the memories of my youth are at best, tainted, and at worst, laden with gaps and missing events.

Even after my family settled in the Boston area for a number of years, the pattern of uprooting continued...one year in an elementary school, three years in a different junior high, transferring to an out of district high school for three more, and even taking a senior year in college away. Adult life proves interesting, as it has taken an effort to break the habits of childhood.

I don't deny the numerous benefits of the life I've led - I grew up with a love of travel. I learned to be strong and self-sufficient. I was never told "no, that's not something you can do..." and so, given nothing to stand in my way, I did it. I became an avid reader. I started my first real business at the age of 8 - something that would prove to be the beginning of a lifetime of entrepreneurship.

I don't perceive of my childhood as all bad - not even remotely so - I've never felt it was. So this year, I seek what answers I can dredge from the depths...I go, not in search of answers about the abuse, nor the darker, angst-laden aspects of childhood, but to rediscover the child I know I was underneath it all. The joys, the discoveries, the learning...and to perhaps attain a better understanding of the adult I am today.

I don't expect the journey to be easy. I look forward to it with trepidation and unmitigated glee, both. I'm happy with who I am today. I can't wait to see who I am tomorrow.

-sans_reproche